The St. Petersburg Confessions. This is the first time I’ve written a novelette. Yeah, I never heard of that word either until recently. Anyway it’s what you call books that are between 10,000 and 20,000 words. How long is that? Well, this particular one is about seventy pages. It’s a story about Ghostface, a character from my Darby Stansfield series. It’s a glimpse into his early life and how he came to be. Very suspenseful.

• • •

Luau’s. This is the third book from the DS thriller series. The name might be changing but it will still be food related. This time Darby’s adventures take him to the North Shore on the island of O’ahu. How could things go wrong in beautiful Hawaii? Trust me, they do.

Super Bowl is over. The Giants are the champs. The Clint Eastwood/Chrysler commercial was my favorite. And Madonna rocked the house. It was a great time, but it’s Monday—time to make the donuts.

Listen up folks. I’ve a got a dilemma on my hands. I can’t quite settle on a title for my next Darby Stansfield thriller, and I need a sounding board. That’s where you all come in.

For those not in the know, let me give you some background on how I come up with these titles. First off, they’re food items. I know what you’re thinking, “Stupid.” Yeah, it’s not what you expect for a thriller, but I like them and they actually come out of the story.

So in every Darby adventure, he becomes fascinated with a certain dish and eats it all the time. In CHOP SUEY, it was chop suey. In STROGANOV, it was stroganov.

So the next title needs to be a food item related to Hawaii, since that’s where the story takes place. I’m actually relaxing the rules. It doesn’t need to be a single food item, it can be food related. Right now, it’s Luau’s. In the story, Luau’s is also the name of a diner that serves Hawaiian food. I choose this name because I thought most people would recognize it. Another reader suggested Poi. I also like that one but wasn’t sure how many people knew the word.

So here’s what I’m asking, which is the better title? Also, if you have a suggestion for a new title, let me know. I’m very open to changing it.

It’s worth the sixty seconds needed to view it. I can’t get into it because I don’t want to give it away but clearly this genre remains hot as ever. If you write about it, keep writing because it ain’t cooling off anytime soon. So suck it.

I received an email from a reader saying she had just finished reading my book. Great, fan mail. I love it. Only this fan had some constructive criticism.

Ashley Case was her name. Pointing out typos and grammar mistakes was her game. When she first told me my book had multiple typos and errors, I honestly didn’t believe her. It can’t be, I thought. This was crazy talk. I had just hired a proofreader to go through my book. And before that, there was me, which doesn’t really count, my editor and a couple of beta readers.

I asked Ashley if she would be kind enough to point out these errors. I had excepted that perhaps one or two might have slipped by. The next day I received an email from her with an Excel doc attached. She had only looked over 60 pages, yet she had found 50 errors. Holy moly! I was shocked and then pissed. Not at her, but at myself for allowing my book to be out there that way. There was a massive failure somewhere in my quality control and I needed to fix it.

I eventually emailed Ashley back, thanking her for the document. I told her she had a real eagle eye and should consider becoming a proofreader. I received an email back from her stating she had always been interested in becoming a proofreader but didn’t know how to get started. I hired her on the spot.

Ashley has since proofed two books for me and I’m happy with the results. There are a lot of proofreader’s out there for hire and finding the right one for your project can be tricky. If you find yourself in this situation, consider hiring Ashley Case.

ashleycase.com

• • •

So, it’s been a few weeks since Ty guest-posted on my blog, and there’s been this idea percolating in my mind, ever since.

Ty explained how his protagonist got obsessed with different dishes, in the first two books of his Darby Stansfield series.

My God, I thought.  What a brilliant hook.

There are few experiences of sensation that we all share, as human beings.  Food—the desire for it, the enjoyment of it, the satisfaction of it—is arguably the most common human experience outside of death and taxes.

Food has a mutable quality, as well.  When we’re starving, a simple bowl of rice with butter or soy sauce can seem like a feast.  I’ve known otherwise sane people who sing the praises of fried bread sandwiches.  I mean, when that’s all you’ve got, and you’re hungry, that stuff is awesome.

And then there are the banquet days, the high holy feast days, which throughout history have been tied to spiritual abundance.  Eat, drink, be merry, and revel in this corporal form, kiddies, for The End is Nigh, right?  How many Twinkies, exactly, are between you and the apocalypse, on any given day?

Ah, food.

There’s something else food is good for, in a literary sense, beyond serving as a delicious hook.  Food can also be a wonderful metaphorical device.  See, there’s another thing most humans experience and revel in the pleasure of, beyond food.  You know what I’m talking about, baby.  Sex.

I’m totally fine with reading a good sex scene, and authors of sexy stuff (the word “erotica” sounds like a Madonna project from the 90s, doesn’t it?) have certainly proven themselves to be valuable professional resources, so please understand, I mean no disrespect.  I wish them all the success in the world, and they’ll find no competition from yours truly.

I like sex.  I have four kids in a day and age of inexpensive and prevalent birth control, ladies and gentlemen.  Yes, I know what causes that—I know very well.  But I don’t write about sex.  Outside of a couple of racy blog comments I’ve left lately, I really don’t feel comfortable talking about such personal acts—even fictionally.  It’s not my style, it’s not lady-like, it’s just not okay with me for me.  I’m a “fade to black” girl and happily so.

But, hey, I wrote this book.  And it had a youngish couple in it.  And they had a sex life.  How was I to show their intimacy–the sensuality of the protagonist’s live-in boyfriend, in particular?  I kind of needed for the story to illustrate that he was everything she could possibly want in a man.  But how to show his sexual prowess without ever once mentioning he possessed said prowess?

Like most of my chapters, I just sort of shrugged and started typing.  Before I knew it, I had given him a sizzling skillet, long nimble fingers for working, sharp blades for chopping spicy peppers, and he sang (badly) while cracking eggs and jokes in a warm kitchen, one snowy morning.  Every sensory experience I could summon was present in that tiny Bloomington, Indiana kitchen.

Although absolutely nothing untoward happens in that scene, the guy does make one dirty joke.  Readers have told me the scene is playful, sexy, and they wanted more like it, because they loved the two characters together.  One very religious lady told me this breakfast-making scene was “too guttery.”  Again, no sex acts whatsoever—but I think the smells, the sounds, the heat—everything about cooking adds to the ambience of what’s really cooking.

Now, I haven’t read Chop Suey yet.  It’s on my Kindle, ready to go.  I might dive into it today, in fact, so by the time this post goes live, I may be able to judge for myself whether or not Ty’s Darby is using food for similar metaphorical effect.

The reviews say Darby Stansfield’s funny, and funny is its own brand of sexy, too, so…I’m pretty sure I’m going to have my way with Chop Suey and Stroganov, either way.  I’m going to dive in, head first, roll around in that book, eat it up…you get the picture.

Red Tash is the author of the best-selling, top-rated Dark Fantasy, This Brilliant Darkness, and the forthcoming edgy YA fantasy, Troll or Derby.  Keep up with her at all the usual social media places, and follow her blog at http://RedTash.com or hunt her down on her Facebook pages—Author and Personal. When not having sex or eating, she might be twittering.

This Brilliant Darkness is available at Amazon.

The Darby Stansfield thriller I’m working on right now actually takes place on the North Shore, but something  evil happens in Ka’ena Point. Enjoy.

The book I’m reading is, I, Alex. Mostly because two years ago I decided to read all his books in the order they were written and this one seemed to be the next. I also wanted it to be a Cross novel and not one of his stand alone books or part of the Michael Bennett series. I read one of them and I didn’t really do anything for me. I have yet to try his other series, but I’m looking forward to it.

Anyway, it’s off to a great start. I hadn’t realized how much I missed him. I had spent most of last year reading indie books. For now, I’m setting them aside and focusing on reading a couple of Patterson books before reading anything else.

To be honest I never understood why people hate on him so much. I actually didn’t realize he had such haters until I visited a writer message board. Do you know the fasted way to get attacked on a writer message board? Say you like James Patterson. These writers all sounded like a bunch of crybabies. All they did was point out what they thought was wrong with him and his writing. Yet, he’s a big success and those fucktards aren’t. No matter how you slice it, it just looks like jealousy. Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

In the end, I don’t really give two shits what people think of him. I don’t have the energy or the time to engage. I personally like reading his books. They’re entertaining and that’s why I read. Fuck hidden meaning. It’s horse shit.

Well I’ve got exciting news. Amazon and I have partnered up for a fabulous, two-day promotion. Kindle owners, or people who have the Kindle app, will be able to download the Amazon Best Seller CHOP SUEY, for FREE.

Downloads will be available starting at 12:00 a.m. Saturday, 1/7 and continuing to 11:59 p.m. Sunday, 1/8.

CHOP SUEY has hit both the Action & Adventure and the Men’s Adventure top 100 lists. It has also acquired 46 reviews, 28 which are 5-stars.

Praise for CHOP SUEY.

“Chop Suey is a fast, funny and well-plotted thriller—It’s not easy to write comedy, introduce a vicious serial killer, and navigate between the two.”— Reading Review

“It is both intrinsically funny and inherently evil, a strangely intoxicating blend, one that keeps the action rolling.”— SeattlePI

“Hutchinson did an excellent job of bringing his characters to life, weaving several stories together and bringing them to an exciting conclusion.”— The Book Review

“Lightning-fast plotting, unforgettable characters and dialogue that rings with more truth than fortune cookies at a drunken mid-life crisis lunch. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!” — Author Dani Amore 

“Hutchinson deftly weaves his three plot lines together in an increasingly frenetic pace, rocketing to an explosive conclusion.” — Book Reviewer, Elizabeth A. White 

Description

Add one lovable dope.
Layer in a vicious serial killer.
Throw in a couple of gang members.
Mix in a pair of Chinatown detectives.
Combine it all with Ling Chi, death by 1,000 cuts.
And you have the perfect recipe for Chop Suey.

When disgraced sales associate Darby Stansfield discovers he has six months to save his job, he does what any normal person would do. He freaks.

Desperate to resurrect his career at Teleco Wireless, Darby conjures up an international scheme filled with the promise of endless, high-spending clients. It’s brilliant, it’s international, it would have his boss snooping and his best friend sweating, but it has Darby on a plane to Hong Kong where he signs his latest client, a Chinese gang.

Meanwhile, bodies are piling up in San Francisco and Darby has no idea that his brilliant plan has just put him on a collision course with the killer.

To make matters worse, those closest to him find themselves caught up in his dangerous plan. Darby must now make a tough decision — give up on the one good idea he ever had or risk it all.

Chop Suey is a 90,000 word action thriller. That’s 380 pages of holy moly.